Shaarei Shamayim

BEHAALOTCHA 5770

How would you like a 2^nd chance? “For what?” you might ask. I’ll let you decide. Close your eyes for a moment as I ask you this question: if you could have 2 pass cards for a 2^nd chance or a “do-over,” what 2 things would it be for? Hold on to that thought, I’ll return to it later.

The Torah today tells us about the very strange law of Pesach Sheyni. If a Jew was ritually unclean and, therefore, not fit to bring the Passover sacrifice, or if one was away on a journey and could not return in time to celebrate Passover, then he is given a 2^nd chance a month later on the 14^th of Iyar. Passover is a holiday of joy and happiness and if one could not partake of that happiness—through no fault of his own—Gd gives him another chance.

One of my colleagues tells the story of what happened when he was teaching this law. He mentioned that since we no longer offer the Korban Pesach, the Passover offering, because the Temple has not yet been rebuilt, it really doesn’t apply in our time. Suddenly a hand went up from an elderly gentleman saying, “Rabbi, I did it! I observed the 2^nd Passover!” He explained that during WWII he was in the battle for Iwo Jima. The invasion was during Pesach and it was impossible to have a Seder, so the following month the Jewish chaplain arranged a 2^nd Seder opportunity for all the Jewish personnel on the island.

The law of Pesach Sheyni is a metaphor, of sorts, for us. Sometimes life gives us a 2^nd chance at happiness, and when it does, we need to embrace it.

This is Memorial Day weekend when we pause to remember those who have died in defense of our country. It was because of their bravery and self-sacrifice that we had a 2^nd chance to live in freedom. It’s a good time for us to pause and reflect about being grateful for 2^nd chances. No matter what mistakes we make, no matter what foolish decisions we arrive at, no matter the trouble we’re in, there’s always hope and new opportunities.

Some of you may have hoped for a 2^nd chance pass card at being better parents to your children? You may feel that you have failed your kids, or not supported them adequately, or were poor role models, or did not impart proper values to them, or had little rapport. You can get a 2^nd chance and change that. How? By discussing it openly with our kids, expressing regret and becoming the parent now you never were.

Some of you may have hoped for a 2^nd chance pass card with your parents? Did you spurn a mother or father...did you rebel or hurt or belittle them? Do you regret that your relationship was not closer, that you rarely communicated and seldom visited? You can wipe the slate clean and get a 2^nd chance. Become the child now you never were.

Some of you many have hoped for a 2^nd chance at your careers, businesses or professions? Have you failed an assignment, botched up a job, made a bad impression? You can turn things around and begin again. Yes you can—despite the economy! You can have a 2^nd chance.

How about a 2^nd chance in business? Have you made a bad investment, a foolish decision? Were you tempted to liquidate as the economy began to sour, but didn’t and now you regret it? It’s not too late. You can have a 2^nd chance.

Some of you may have hoped for a 2^nd chance to finally—at long last—renew severed relationships! Have you been at all selfish, intolerant or demanding? Have you ruined a good relationship in the past that you now regret and feel remorse about? What if you could do it all over again? What if you had a 2^nd chance in your marriage?

On this Shabbos when we read in the Torah about Gd giving us a 2^nd chance, I ask you: what would you do differently the 2^nd time around? If you could change just 2 mistakes, what would they be? Would it have to do with family relationships as a spouse, a sibling, a child? Would you change a foolish error in business? Would you live in the same place? Would you have chosen the same profession or business? Would you have lost your temper, been abusive, gambled, drunk, smoked?

I supposed there are some who would make no major changes, who are satisfied with their life decisions. I suspect, however, that most of us would do something quite differently given a 2^nd time around. Life is full of missed opportunities. So often we look back with regret thinking, “If only.” “If only” we had spent more time with our children. “If only” we had seen the doctor in time. But we make a terrible mistake if we continue to live only in the past, looking back constantly with regret.

As Jews we really do have a 2^nd chance. There is Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur wiping our sins clean so we can start over in the New Year. And forgiveness is something we can receive at any time—from Gd or from each other. We just have to ask.

Every day brings infinite possibilities. If we are blessed with health and strength, with our faculties, our loved ones, and the security of living in what Michael Medved likes to call “this greatest country on Gd’s green earth,” then there are always opportunities. No mistake is too great.

Each new day gives us the opportunity to demonstrate to others how much we love them—to demonstrate our awareness of their needs, our sensitivity to their susceptibilities. Each new day presents us with the opportunity to view situations from the other’s point of view, to exercise care in what we say and—most important—how we say it.

Do you remember what we used to say in the 60’s? “Every day is the 1^st day of the rest of our lives.” We can make our lives better. The Torah tells us that Gd gives us 2^nd chances. Nothing is ever hopeless. As the prophet Micah (7:8) puts it: “Though I am fallen, I shall rise again.” 

A 2^nd chance is ours for the asking as husbands and wives, as parents and children, as siblings and friends, as professionals or in business, we can always look forward to a new beginning. As Jews, there are opportunities for greater closeness to Gd every moment of every day. It is never too late!

As I began I asked you: if you could have 2 pass cards for a 2^nd chance or a “do-over,” what 2 things would it be for? Do you get a 2^nd chance in life? You don’t need to wait for Gd to hand you a Pesach Sheyni pass card. You can make the changes now in your life that will make a real difference. So what are you waiting for? Amen!

Rabbi Mark Hillel Kunis 

5/29/10