MOTHER’S DAY 5772
My colleague, Rabbi Jack Reimer (“The Two Mothers Of Moses,” 2012), asks a great question about the central character in the Torah that I’d like to share with you today in honor of Mother’s Day weekend. He asks: “Who was the greater influence on the character of Moses, his birth mother or his adoptive mother?” It’s the old nature verses nurture argument. He then deepens the question: “Did Moses get his compassion from his mother—a slave? Did he get his self-confidence and his ability to lead from his adoptive mother—the daughter of Pharaoh? And did these 2 mothers ever meet?”
A verse in the Torah provides a hint. Yocheved—Moses’ birth mother—kept him at home as long as she could. But the Egyptian police were always searching the homes of the Jews for new-born baby boys to throw into the river. After a few months—in desperation—she put her child into a waterproofed crib and set it afloat in the river—stationing her daughter Miriam to guard it and see what would happen. Miracle of miracles, of all the possible people in the world who might come down to the river that day, the daughter of Pharaoh came to bathe. She discovered the child, and—instead of turning it over to the police to be executed—she decided to save it. Of all the people in the world to defy the order of Pharaoh, it is his very own daughter who feels for this baby and decides to adopt it.
Here comes the hint. Miriam came out of hiding and approached the daughter of Pharaoh and said to her (Ex. 2:7): “Shall I go and get you a Hebrew nurse to nurse this child for you?” When Pharaoh’s daughter answered “Yes,” Miriam went and brought his mother Yocheved.
Pharaoh’s daughter then said to her, “Take this child and nurse it for me, and I will pay your wages.” Imagine, the daughter of Pharaoh pays the mother of Moses to do that which she wants to do more than anything else in the world! How fortunate she must have felt that day! When the child was weaned, she brought him to Pharaoh’s daughter, who made him her son—calling him Moses, “for she drew him from the water.”
Is it possible that during this time when Yocheved was nursing the child that she never brought him to the palace, that she never reported to the adopted mother on how the child was doing? And could it be that, when she delivered the child to his adoptive mother, that she didn’t stay in the palace for a while, or that she didn’t ever come to visit, to see how he was doing? The Torah doesn’t say, but it’s possible that these 2 women may have stayed in touch and became somewhat close.
Rabbi Reimer then writes: I have a fantasy—I admit that I have no proof—but I have a fantasy that in later years, every time that Moses came to the palace to confront Pharaoh and warn him to let the Israelites go free, that he stopped by to say hello to his mom and to ask how she was. I picture him saying: “Hi, Mom, how’re you doing?” And I picture him saying: “Can’t you put any sense into the stubborn head of that Pharaoh of yours and get him to listen to reason? And by the way, regards from my mom, Yocheved. She says to tell you that she’s doing fine and that she hopes you are too. And she told me to tell you that the next time I come here, she is going to send some chicken soup and kugel with me, because she knows how much you like her cooking.”
Rabbi Reimer is not the only one who has such fantasies. The Midrash has them too. It claims that when the Israelites left Egypt, that the daughter of Pharaoh went with them. And Jewish tradition has it that Gd loved her so much that He changed her name from “daughter of Pharaoh” to Batya, which means, “daughter of Gd.”
It could be that this was the 1st case in history of what is now called “open adoption.” Adoption is a great mitzvah in Jewish tradition. I can think of no mitzvah that is more demanding—that takes more of ourselves to fulfill for a longer period of time—than adoption does. Blessed and praised be those who are able and willing to carry out this great mitzvah. They literally save lives when they do.
Most adoptions are “closed adoptions,” which means the adopting parents never get to meet the birth mother, or even learn who she is. This is the case because a great many of the children who are adopted today are orphans or come from China, Romania, Ethiopia or South America where there is little likelihood that the adopting parents, who live in this country, will ever get to meet the birth mother, who lives thousands of miles away.
Another reason is because parents who adopt are worried—understandably so—that the birth mother may someday change her mind and try to take her child back. And so laws have been passed in a great many states that forbid adoption agencies from ever revealing the name of the birth mother to the adopting parents or the names of the adopting parents to the birth mother.
There are valid medical reasons to find the biological parents—like finding a match for bone marrow or a kidney. But besides these very rare exceptions, the adoption agency is not permitted to reveal the name of the birth mother to the child. Most states and most agencies believe in closed adoptions, for they don’t want to open the adopting parents to the dreadful possibility of a birth mother coming into their lives and demanding a share in their child’s life.
Andrea Berman Matis has written a book called, Serenaid: A Triumph of Love, that tells an incredible story of an open adoption. Andrea was a talented and life-loving young woman who came down with a dreadful disease called Scleroderma and couldn’t have children, so she decided to adopt. She found a pregnant woman who realized that she was in no position to give her child a proper home. This woman interviewed several prospective parents and then chose to turn her baby over to her and her husband.
They gave Katherine—the birth mother—their word that they would keep in touch with her, and they did. Twice a year: on the baby’s birthday and Christmas, Andrea would write to Katherine and send her pictures of the baby. And twice a year: on Mother’s Day and on the baby’s birthday, Katherine would write back, giving them updates on her own life and asking questions about how the baby was doing as he grew up.
Their friendship deepened over the years. When Katherine married and had a child, Andrea and her family sent gifts. When their son went to elementary school and then to high school, Katherine got full reports of his achievements. When he was 15, Andrea invited Katherine to come to the house and meet her son for the 1st time since he was born. All of them were nervous and apprehensive, but the love and the respect that they felt for each other made it all joyous.
From this we see that mentschlichkeit is possible—even in spite of the greatest temptations, such as greed or mistrust. Katherine’s family criticized her for giving her baby away for free and urged her to charge a fortune for him instead, but Katherine was more interested in finding the right set of parents for her child than in making money from her child. Andrea’s family was apprehensive about letting this child’s birth mother know where they were, out of fear that she would make trouble for them, but Andrea’s instinct was to trust and feel empathy for this poor woman, who had given up her child for the sake of her child.
Let me share with you an amazing poem found in the book:
Once there were 2 women
Who never knew each other;
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.
2 different lives shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.
The 1st gave you life,
The 2nd taught you how to live it.
The 1st gave you a need for love,
And the 2nd was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your 1st sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
One gave you up—it was all that she could do,
The other prayed for a child—
And Gd led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears,
The age-old question through the years,
Heredity or environment—
Which are you a product of?
Neither my darling—neither
Just 2 different kinds of love.
That is the way I picture the 2 mothers of Moses: Yocheved—his birth mother—and the daughter of Pharaoh—his adoptive mother—relating to each other. I picture the 2 of them raising this child together, each grateful to the other, each sharing in his development, each responsible for a part of who he eventually became.
It’s not for me or anyone else to tell a couple when or whether they should adopt. But if you ever make that decision, I would suggest that you learn from Andrea and Katherine and from Yocheved and the daughter of Pharaoh and consider the possibility of an open adoption—circumstances permitting—despite its risks and dangers.
And for whoever adopts a child—no matter the circumstances—may Gd bless you and reward you for your courage and your trust and for doing the greatest of mitzvot. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 19b; Megila 13a) teaches: “The Torah looks upon one who adopts a child as if he/she had begotten it.” That’s why—according to Jewish law—an adoptive child is duty bound to honor and revere his/her adoptive parents. They are in every important respect his real parents. That’s why we call Moses by the name his adoptive mother gave him.
When souls are reincarnated, most mystics believe, they come back with people they were close to in a former life, but not necessarily in the same relationships. A father might become a brother, etc. But the biological relationships are not crucial as long as the souls are together—i.e. a mother might become an adopted daughter. The point is, when a child is adopted its soul is right where it belongs.
Let me conclude with a cartoon from “Family Circle” I cut some 20 years ago. I give a copy of it to every family I know that adopts a child. A couple of kids playing in a sand box were talking about where they came from when one says, “We came from Mommy’s tummy. But [pointing to the baby in a nearby carriage] Joseph is adopted, so he came from his mommy’s heart!” There’s nothing more that can be said! Happy Mother’s Day to all. Amen!
Rabbi Mark Hillel Kunis
5/12/12
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ACHAREY MOT/KEDOSHIM 5772
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving!”
This story reflects what must be considered one of the most difficult commandments in the entire Torah (Lev. 19:17): Lo tisna et achicha bilvavecha, hocheyach tochi-ach et amitecha, “You shall not hate your brother in your heart; you shall surely reprove your friend so that you do not come to sin because of him.” Yes, there is a mitzvah, a commandment to rebuke, to criticize, to express your disapproval to others when they do wrong! If we don’t, then they might never realize what they’re doing wrong, and we might then grow to dislike them or even hate them in our hearts—and that’s a sin according to this verse! It is, therefore, better for them—as well as for us—that we express criticism and rebuke. So the next time you’re yelling at your kid or your spouse, remember, it’s a mitzvah—NOT!
There are 2 famous statements in the Talmud (Arachin 16b) about criticism. Rabbi Tarfon cautions us: “I wonder if there is anyone left in this generation who knows how to take criticism.” And Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah went even further: “I wonder if there is anyone in this generation who knows how to give criticism!” Our sages understood that it can be hurtful and hard for one to accept criticism. But they also understood that part of the problem is that most people don’t know how to give criticism in a way that it will be heard and received!
Yehudah Halevi, the great 12th century philosopher, taught in the Kuzari that if you reprove your neighbor, your intent must be to improve. Isn’t that magnificent? Let me repeat it: reprove only in order to improve. The purpose of criticism must be to help encourage the person to change. He continues: “Criticism should be given in a way that the person will remain your friend, hear you and learn from you.” Putting my therapist hat on, I would say that you should think before you criticize and ask yourself: “Will the person I’m criticizing be open to what I’m saying? Am I saying it in the most effective way?” You see, ultimately it’s not about who is right or wrong. If you want to help make a positive change in a person, you must try to do it in a way that will work.
This is a great message as the presidential campaign begins to heat up. Soon we will see our television screens light up with attack ad after attack ad—each candidate criticizing the other. And you can bet that each criticism will be well thought out for effectiveness—but not to affect change in the other, but rather to bring the other down. It’s just wrong and I can’t bear to listen to it. So during campaign season I rarely listen to live TV. I watch shows that I have DVR’ed so that I can fast forward through those ads.
There’s no country in the world that receives more criticism than Israel. Israel, however, is open to criticism and has proven that again and again—like it did by establishing a special commission to study the behavior of its soldiers in Gaza a couple of years ago. And the Israeli press is highly critical of its own country. One of my colleagues once remarked, “Looking in from the outside, you might think that criticism of their government is the Israel national sport!”
There are those who criticize Israel and yet mean it no harm, and there are those who criticize Israel because they mean it no good. Those who criticize Israel but remain silent when other countries do the same things and worse reveal their true intensions. This is especially apparent when Israel is criticized by accusing it of behaving like Nazis. Richard Cravatts wrote in the Jewish Press last month (4/12/12) about academic criticism of Israel in our universities: Zionism is regularly equated with Nazism, and the perceived offenses of Israel’s government and military are likened to Nazi crimes against humanity; the notion is that Israel is creating a “Holocaust in the Holy Land” through “ethnic cleansing,” an ongoing “genocide” of Arabs, and the elimination of the rights of an innocent, “indigenous people” who merely seek self-determination and the peaceful creation of a Palestinian homeland. I ask you: can it be that Israelis are the last remaining Nazis in the world? This is such a one-sided distortion of events that it rises to the level of being vile and vicious—and this from the college professors that teach our children!
When the Torah gives us the command to criticize it does it with a double expression: Hocheyach tochiach. This tells us that criticizing must be a double action. Before criticizing others we must be critical of ourselves to see what’s really motivating us. I wonder what motivates Peter Beinart. Jonathan Rosen in the NY Times, reviews Beinart’s new book, The Crisis of Zionism, and writes: He calls Israel’s leaders racist, denounces many of its American supporters as Holocaust-obsessed enablers, and advocates a boycott of products from beyond Israel’s 1967 eastern border…He minimizes the effects and threats of terrorism, belittles those who harp on a Hamas charter that calls for the destruction of Israel and the murder of Jews the world over, and plays down the magnitude of the Palestinian demand for a right of return that would destroy the Jewish State. Beinart was raised as an orthodox Jew. He sends his kids to a Jewish day school. What is he thinking? I wonder if there is some deep seated resentment of his Jewish past motivating this.
Who doesn’t criticize from time to time? The Midrash teaches: “Kol ahava sheh-eyn ima tochacha, eyna ahava, “Any love which does not have some rebuke or criticism within it is not really love.” Part of the reason Gd put us together with our loved ones is the each of us has a unique capacity to help each other grow and better ourselves. But criticism must be given with love and compassion—sweetly and softly, when possible. In fact, from my work as a couples therapist I estimate that for criticism to be effective, at least 4 out of 5 things you say to the one you criticize—whether it’s your children or spouse or whomever—must be positive or neutral—4 out of 5! Otherwise they’ll just close themselves up and not listen.
Think about it. If all one ever hears is criticism and negativity, it brings one down, making him feel worthless. There’s no place for blame, contempt or caustic criticism in loving relationships. So don’t let them creep in to yours!
We must criticize and correct our children’s behavior. That’s our job as parents. But how we do it can be transforming. If we tell our children that “they’re no good,” or that that “they’re stupid,” then that’s what they’ll think of themselves and that’s what they’ll become. But, even when we get upset at them for something wrong that they did…if we hug them and tell them that “they are an image of Gd and a holy soul, and that they could do better,” we can uplift them even as we criticize!
The most powerful thing that Gd gave us is our mouths. A mouth can create or destroy worlds. If the eye is a window to the soul, the mouth is a door because it shows the world who we really are. It effects and changes things and, therefore, it’s a tool that must be used very very carefully. So don’t react instinctively without thought. Think before you speak. And when you’re about to criticize, think again! Think about how effective what you are going to say will be. Ask yourself: “Will my criticism bring about the positive change I’m looking for, or will throwing a verbal dart at someone only make me feel better for the moment but in the end make things worse?
And until you can figure out how be effective in your criticism, consider the advice of Rabbi Simon in Ethics of the Fathers (1:17): “I have found nothing better for oneself than silence.” Or as Abraham Lincoln put it: “Better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubts.” If you have nothing positive to say, if your criticism isn’t positively motivated, you’d be better off to keep your mouth shut!
And most of all, don’t wait till you have a criticism in mind to say something good beforehand. Make at least 4 out of 5 of the things you say positive or neutral. When the ones you criticize feel from all the compliments you gave that you genuinely love and appreciate them, it makes it safe to really listen and take in what you have to say. And when we give our criticism with love, then we will be able to see the fulfillment of the next verse: V’ahavta l’reyacha kamocha, “to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.” Amen!
Rabbi Mark Hillel Kunis
5/5/12 (see 5769)
YOM HAATZMAUT 5772
When Israel was founded 64 years ago, it was a barren country with no natural resources, little water, and more than half of its land a desert. The only thing the new country had going for it was the indefatigable spirit, creativity and energy of its people. Now 64 years later, Israelis have turned their country into an oasis of technology and innovation—the envy of the world. With the most start-ups per capita in the world, and the 3rd highest number of patents per head, Israel has become one of the leading players in the world of high-tech innovation, attracting international giants like Microsoft, Intel and Apple to its shores.
From health breakthroughs to technology, agriculture, the environment and the arts, the country’s innovations are transforming and enriching lives everywhere. Israel today is playing a significant role in some of the most important challenges facing our planet. Not bad for such a new country only the size of New Jersey. All this in fulfillment of the promise made to Abraham (Gen. 12:3) about his descendents: V’nivr’chu v’cha kol mishpachot ha-adama, “And through you will all the nations of the world be blessed.”
To celebrate Israel’s 64th birthday, the JTA—the Jewish Telegraphic Agency—in its Yom Haatzmaut, Israel Independence Day email this week, had a link to Israel’s No. 1 supermodel, Bar Refaeli—in what turned out to be—64 suggestive poses. Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on the link, but I never made it through all 64. After about 30 or 40 I got the idea! It certainly wasn’t boring and it got me thinking that instead of a sermon today for Yom Haatzmaut on the serious problems Israel has in the world—especially with the nuclear proliferation of Iran, which I spoke about last week—I should speak about some of the new positive innovations coming out of Israel today. Perhaps they’re not as sexy as Bar Refaeli, but they’re even more wonderful. In fact, there is a new organization devoted to doing just that called ISRAEL21c and can be found at www.ISRAEL21c.org. I’ve been on their email list for a couple of months now and it’s great to read on-going positive news about Israel. Israel21c developed in honor of Israel’s 64th birthday, a list of Israel’s top 64 innovations that are “transforming and enriching lives across the planet.” They even made a video about it. I’ll send you the link when I send out my sermon tonight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-C3UYq-UxA&feature=youtu.be&utm_source=Copy+of+Donation+Letter+from+ISRAEL21c&utm_campaign=Made+in+Israel&utm_medium=email
Let me read you this list. I know it’s somewhat long, but it is amazing and wondrous how little Israel is enriching and enhancing the lives of everyone in the world. Yes, it’s 64 items, but each one is remarkable by itself. So indulge me as I read the list:
- The PillCam is now the gold standard for intestinal visualization and is sold in more than 60 countries around the world. Just take this pill and it takes unique pictures of your insides. TIME magazine called it one of the best inventions of the year.
- ExAblate: a non-invasive, magnetic resonance-guided focused ultrasound surgery system that thermally ablates, or destroys, tumors inside the body. The device has huge potential to address a wide variety of medical problems, including diseases that currently have no treatment.
- Copaxone: now the world’s top-selling treatment for multiple sclerosis.
- Sambucol: For many people, the 1st line of defense against flu is this elderberry extract. Laboratory studies show that Sambucol is effective against human, swine and avian influenza strains. Sold all over the world.
- The ReWalk robotic exoskeleton: The paraplegic Artie Abrams got up and walked for the first time using this technology on the popular TV program Glee. It enables paraplegics to walk and climb stairs without assistance.
- WatchPAT: a miniature sleep lab that can be worn on the wrist and one finger to diagnose and identify the source of sleep problems. It allows patients to be diagnosed at home in their own beds rather than at hospital sleep clinics. Named one of the 10 best medical innovations for 2010.
- ViaDerm: a no-pain vaccination—a welcome alternative for patients who must take daily medications.
- EndoPAT: a heart-smart device that uses a fingertip test to measure cardiac health, and can even predict whether the patient will suffer a heart attack in the next 7 years.
- Brainsway developed a revolutionary painless, non-invasive deep electromagnetic stimulation device for the brain that can ease addiction, depression, autism and a range of other brain disorders, including Alzheimer’s disease and schizophrenia.
10. Proneuron Biotechnologies: promising new therapies for acute spinal-cord injuries and a therapy for Parkinson’s disease with support from the Michael J. Fox foundation.
11. Babysense: a no-touch, no-radiation device designed to prevent crib death. The device monitors a baby’s breathing and movements through the mattress during sleep.
12. Deep Breeze: an innovative medical device that will allow COPD patients to be monitored remotely from home. Some 200 million people suffer from this progressive lung condition. It can also image, diagnose and monitor patients suffering from asthma, congestive heart failure and other conditions affecting the lungs.
13. The Emergency Bandage was designed by an Israeli military medic. It can be applied with one hand and is used to stop bleeding from hemorrhaging wounds caused by traumatic injuries in the field. In January 2011 the Emergency Bandage was reportedly instrumental in saving the life of US Representative Gabrielle Giffords.
14. A simple new diagnosis kit for antibiotic-resistant superbugs that can identify the type of bug in minutes rather than the current 5 days. Superbugs are now one of the top killers in US and European hospitals.
15. The wireless LiteTouch dental laser which is much more effective and accurate than wired connections.
16. Copper oxide fabrics to provide a range of innovative products, from an antimicrobial mask and latex gloves to use as protection from flu germs and bacteria, to socks that don’t get smelly — even if you don’t wash them — and pillowcases that help reduce wrinkles while you sleep.
17. The Disk-on-Key data storage device was launched in September 2000, and since then these small flash drives have become almost as common as the paper clip.
18. Microsoft’s 2 most popular operating systems, NT and XP, were developed primarily in Israel. Microsoft Israel announced that 13 new products are now being developed.
19. The modern commercial computer network firewall, offering vital protection to computers worldwide from the dangers of cyberspace.
20. All Instant messaging programs are built on Israel developed techonology.
21. Intel 8088 processor, the Centrino and the SandyBridge, powering millions of laptops worldwide.
22. Original cell-phone technology: Most of the technology in your mobile phone can be traced back to Israeli engineering.
23. Kindle: The Java platform inside Amazon’s Kindle was developed in Israel.
24. The E-Print 1000 was a turning point for the printing industry, enabling printers to print directly from computer files.
25. PrimeSense revolutionized interaction with digital devices by allowing them to “see” in 3D and transfer control from remote controls and joysticks to hands and body. It makes the core component in Microsoft’s Xbox and Kinect gaming systems.
26. Flash memory chips: found in Apple’s iPhone, iPad and MacBook Air, as well as in several Samsung devices.
27. Answers.com: have question? Go to this Israel developed site.
28. Waze: a mobile smartphone app that can determine where traffic is flowing or slowing used worldwide.
29. Babylon.com: the world’s official online translator with more than 100 million desktop installations in some 231 countries and is available in 75 languages.
30. Shaker has developed an award-winning virtual bar application that takes Facebook to the next level.
31. The Quicktionary: a portable pen-size scanner that can immediately translate words from other languages.
32. Powermat: just place your devices upon it and it will wirelessly recharge them without rechargers.
33. Magshoe: scans the lower body so you won’t have to take off your shoes at the airport.
34. Chip for Sony Playstation 3:
35. X-Hawk: flying car with vertical takeoffs and landings for special use in search and rescue operations with confined spaces.
36. Smart drip irrigation growing food under the most difficult arid conditions.
37. Modern Cherry Tomato:
38. Potatoes grown in hot arid climates using saline water.
39. Grow fish anywhere advanced systems: without usual pollution problems.
40. Shai Agassi: world leader in electric car systems.
41. Bright Source Energy: world leader in solar power.
42. Solar Window: let’s in light and generates solar power.
43. Gas turbine solar power station: 1st in the world.
44. Robomow: automatically mows your lawn.
45. IntelliGym: software training that significantly improves performance of athletes, security personnel, fighter pilots and medical staff.
46. Dog TV: rolled out by Time-Warner and Cox cable companies. Programming to keep dogs happy, stimulated and comfortable when they’re home alone.
47. Krav Maga self-defense system: combining many disciplines, it is in use by the FBI, the CIA, police and swat teams all over.
48. Voca People: with their white powdered faces and red lips. This ensemble of 8 a cappella singers are a huge international hit.
49. Aluminum: innovative dance and musical theatre using aluminum pipe.
50. Bat Sheva internationally acclaimed dance company.
51. Israeli TV: picked up and reworked for American audiences—with shows like Showtime’s “Homeland” and HBO’s “Treatment,” Fox’s “Traffic Light” and “The Ex List.”
52. The Power Rangers: children’s TV.
53. “Powernormal Activity: supernatural horror movie.
54. Max Brenner: specialty chocolate stores all over the world.
55. Soda Stream: home carbonation machines sold world over.
56. Epilady: revolutionized the hair removal industry.
57. Mobileye: advanced driver assisted system. Alerts drivers to potential accidents.
58. Object: 3D printer.
59. Rummikub:
60. Seambiotic: turns carbon dioxide emitted by power plants into fuel.
61. Vacuum Ice Maker Technology: surprising coming from the climate of Israel.
62. Desalination Plants: world leader with 400 plants in 40 countries.
63. Afi Milk: leader in computerized milking systems.
64. AshPoopie: scoops the droppings of dogs and turns it into odorless, sterile ash in seconds.
Isn’t this absolutely amazing? Israel is a country smaller than the State of Georgia and only 64 years old. To me it’s absolutely astonishing how Israelis have improved the lives of all peoples all over the world in almost every area of life—from technology to the environment to health to food to entertainment—and that’s not including all the great accomplishments of Jews in the rest of the world. If Israel is now fulfilling the prophecy to Abraham that the world will be blessed by his descendants, perhaps the prophecy of the prophets and King David (Psalm 29:11) will now be fulfilled that Hashem oz l’amo yiteyn, “Gd will give His people strength, Hashem yivareych et amo vashalom, and “that Gd will bless his people with peace.” May the Jewish State always be a blessing to the world. She is the fulfillment of the Jewish dream of thousands of years. Am Yisrael Chai, “The People of Israel Live.” Happy 64th birthday Israel. Amen!
Rabbi Mark HillelKunis
4/28/12
YOM HASHOA 5772
69 years ago, Jan Karski, an official of the Polish Government-in-Exile in London, met with Jewish leaders surreptitiously in Poland and was smuggled into the Warsaw Ghetto. He said to them: I am here to help if I can. I will be in London soon and in a position to obtain audiences with the Allied authorities...you must give me your official message to the outside world. You are the leaders of the Jewish underground. What do you want me to say?
They hesitated for a moment. The Bund leader spoke: We want you to tell the Polish and Allied governments...that we are helpless in the face of the German criminals...The Germans are not trying to enslave us as they have other people; we are being systematically murdered...Our entire people will be destroyed...3 million Polish Jews are doomed...Place this responsibility on the shoulders of the Allies. Let not a single leader of the nations be able to say that they did not know that we were being murdered in Poland and could not be helped except from the outside. (Nora Levin, The Holocaust, p.339)
This plea, as well as countless other desperate cries for help as we know, fell on deaf ears. The Allies could not waste even a few bombs to save Jewish blood—bombing the walls of the ghettos or the crematoria or even the railroad tracks leading to them. They were not worth it! For many of us, our pain and anguish and anger over the betrayal and the loss to our people has still not subsided—even after all these years.
But there are others—amazingly enough, many Jews among them—who just can’t understand why rabbis and educators keep bringing up something that happened so long ago. “Look to the future and to the State of Israel,” they say. It seems that some of us have a hard time reliving the horrors of the Holocaust. So why remember the Holocaust? Why bother rehashing what is now past history?
This year marks 70 years that the Reichsfuhrer Heinrich Himmler in 1942 ordered the construction of the 1st extermination camps. And so we must remember the Holocaust because of the fundamental question that it raises about us: not “Where was Gd?”—that is a good question for another time—but, “Where was mankind?” Where was America when the Jews of the Warsaw Ghetto cried out for help or the passengers of the SS St. Louis off the shores of Miami? Why did we allow, along with England, France, and the rest of the world, countless opportunities for rescue to slip through our hands? Why was the Red Cross—the international agency for relief—silent in the face of atrocity? Why was the Vatican silent? No, the question for us is not, “Where was Gd?” But “Where was mankind?”
We remember the Holocaust so that we can take a good look at ourselves and remember how low the level of human dignity can sink. We remember the Holocaust because, for the majority of the victims, there is no one to recite Kaddish. We remember the Holocaust because it’s important for all Jews to share in memory. We remember the Holocaust because we see how misused this term and the term “genocide” have become in our everyday speech—how PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, can compare chickens slaughtered at factory farms to Jews annihilated in Nazi death camps.
And most of all now we must remember the Holocaust because Jan Karski’s pleas to the Allies that fell on deaf ears almost 70 years ago seem too familiar in our time. No matter how we scream about Iran’s blatant threats to wipe Israel off the face of the earth, the world indifferently plays games with Iran—opening up yet another round of talks that they know will go nowhere while Iran gets closer and closer to her nuclear goals. It’s not that the world doesn’t get or even appreciate the threat of Iran. It’s that helping the Jewish State now—as was helping European Jewry during WWII—is not convenient.
Ben Stein, in a piece in “The American Spectator” (4/5/12) writes about the recent terrorism in Toulouse, France:
The gunman who killed a rabbi and his 2 children in front of a Jewish school…a few weeks ago chased his 4th victim, an 8-year-old girl, into the school playground. He cornered her against a fence and grabbed her by her hair. Then he pointed a .45 calibre automatic at her head and tried to shoot her but the gun jammed. So he took a 9mm automatic out of his pocket and shot her point blank in the head, killing her instantly.
The decent people of the world are right to be horrified about this latest example of Jew hatred and murder. But let’s bear this in mind. Europeans and other persons have loved to kill Jews for a long time. During the roughly 2,000 days of World War II in Europe, the Nazis and their many, many local helpers killed an average of 3,000 Jews each and every day—the vast majority of them women and children, all of them civilians…
If you wonder why the Jewish state of Israel believes that it is in deadly peril from an Iranian nuclear bomb, just look at history. People who truly hate Jews, who believe that Jews are not human or are the spawn of the devil, will use any means they can to kill Jews. Questions of morality or retaliation do not enter into the matter at all. The Nazis were still using every tool at their disposal to murder every Jew in their grasp just days before the Reich collapsed…
History has shown that the Jews can only depend upon themselves…Why would Israel think Obama would go to war for Israel?
If you wonder why Israel is so deathly afraid about an Iranian bomb, think of that hand of the Toulouse gunman holding the 8-year-old Jewish girl by her hair and calmly shooting her in the head. Think of the hand of Ahmadinejad pressing a button to destroy Tel Aviv. Think of the Nazis’ industrial machine killing 3,000 Jews a day while the world did nothing. Think if it were your children under the gun. Think and remember.
If we have learned anything from the Holocaust, we have learned to take our enemies at their word. That when Hitler threatened to exterminate the Jews, he meant it. And now when Ahmadinejad threatens to exterminate the Jewish State, he means it. Bibi Netanyahu, in a Holocaust memorial address the other day, said the following:
I know that there are those who…prefer that we not speak of a nuclear Iran as an existential threat. They say that such language, even if true, only sows fear and panic. I ask, have these people lost all faith in the people of Israel? Do they think that this nation, which has overcome every danger, lacks the strength to confront this new threat?
…Those who dismiss Iran’s threats as exaggerated or as mere idle posturing have learned nothing from the Holocaust. But we should not be surprised. There have always been those among us who prefer to mock those who tell uncomfortable truths than squarely face the truth themselves. That is how Zev Jabotinsky was received when he warned the Jews of Poland of the looming Holocaust. This is what he said in 1938, in Warsaw: “It is already THREE years that I am calling upon you, Polish Jewry, who are the crown of World Jewry. I continue to warn you incessantly that a catastrophe is coming closer. I became grey and old in these years, my heart bleeds, that you, dear brothers and sisters, do not see the volcano which will soon begin to spit its all-consuming lava…I see that you are not seeing this because you are immersed and sunk in your daily worries… Listen to me in this twelfth hour: In the name of G-d! Let anyone of you save himself, as long as there is still time, and time there is very little.”
Zev Jabotinsky was a prophet who calls out to us just assuredly as he called out to Polish Jews, pre-Holocaust, about not ignoring the existential threats right in front of us.
Yaffa Eliach, in her book, Hassidic Tales of the Holocaust, tells the story of the Bluzhover Rebbe (p.3-4), Rabbi Israel Spira, in the Janowska concentration camp. Let me read some of it to you:
It was a dark, cold night in the Janowska Road Camp. Suddenly, a stentorian shout pierced the air: “You are all to evacuate the barracks immediately and report to the vacant lot. Anyone remaining inside will be shot on the spot!”
Pandemonium broke out in the barracks. People pushed their way to the doors while screaming the names of friends and relatives. In a panic-stricken stampede, the prisoners ran in the direction of the big open field.
Exhausted, trying to catch their breath, they reached the field. In the middle were 2 huge pits. Suddenly, with their last drop of energy, the inmates realized where they were rushing, on that cursed dark night in Janowska.
Once more, the cold, healthy voice roared in the night: “Each of you dogs who values his miserable life and wants to cling to it must jump over one of the pits and land on the other side. Those who miss will get what they rightfully deserve—ra-ta-ta-ta-ta.”
Imitating the sound of a machine gun, the voice trailed off into the night followed by a wild, coarse laughter. It was clear to the inmates that they would all end up in the pits. Even at the best of times it would have been impossible to jump over them, all the more so on that cold dark night in Janowska. The prisoners standing at the edge of the pits were skeletons, feverish from disease and starvation, exhausted from slave labor and sleepless nights…
Among the thousands of Jews on that field in Janowska was the Rabbi of Bluzhov, Rabbi Israel Spira. He was standing with a friend, a freethinker from a large Polish town whom the rabbi had met in the camp. A deep friendship had developed between the 2.
“Spira, all of our efforts to jump over the pits are in vain. We only entertain the Germans and their collaborators, the Askaris. Let’s sit down in the pits and wait for the bullets to end our wretched existence,” said the friend to the rabbi.
“My friend,” said the rabbi, as they were walking in the direction of the pits, “man must obey the will of Gd. If it was decreed from heaven that pits be dug and we be commanded to jump, pits will be dug and jump we must. And if, Gd forbid, we fail and fall into the pits, we will reach the World of Truth a second later, after our attempt. So, my friend, we must jump.”
The rabbi and his friend were nearing the edge of the pits; the pits were rapidly filling up with bodies. The rabbi glanced down at his feet, the swollen feet of a 53-year-old Jew ridden with starvation and disease. He looked at his young friend, a skeleton with burning eyes. As they reached the pit, the rabbi closed his eyes and commanded in a powerful whisper, “We are jumping!” When they opened their eyes, they found themselves standing on the other side of the pit.
“Spira, we are here, we are here, we are alive!” the friend repeated over and over again, while warm tears streamed from his eyes. “Spira, for your sake, I am alive; indeed, there must be a Gd in heaven. Tell me, Rebbe, how did you do it?”
“I was holding on to my ancestors. I was holding on to the coattails of my father, and my grandfather and my great-grandfather, of blessed memory,” said the rabbi as his eyes searched the black skies above. “Tell me, my friend, how did you reach the other side of the pit?”
“I was holding on to you,” replied the rabbi’s friend.
The theme of this year’s Holocaust commemoration is “My Brother’s Keeper—Jewish Solidarity during the Holocaust.” The truth is, the only way any of the survivors made it out the death camps was because they held on to each other—each one held on to someone else. In the face of an indifferent world, it seems the only way the Jewish people and the Jewish State will survive today is if we hold on to each other and together we not allow the world to forget what happened 70 years ago when Reichsführer Heinrich Himmler created the death camps. The Nazis failed to destroy the Jews and, Gd willing, Iran will fail as well. Am Yisrael Chai, the Jewish people will live. Amen!
Rabbi Mark Hillel Kunis
4/21/12
PESACH 1ST DAY 5772
We all know the old joke that all the Jewish holidays can be summed up as follows: “We were attacked; Gd helped us and we defeated our enemies; let’s eat!” Good joke, but think about it. It’s not really so! It doesn’t explain the master stories behind the eating—especially at the Seder.
The Torah tells us at least 4 times, for example, that we must tell our children that we were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt but Gd saved us. And so to fulfill this command, the 1st 2 nights of Pesach we have a Seder, read the Haggadah and tell the story of slavery to freedom. However, if you pay attention you’ll discover that it’s possible to sit through the entire Seder and never really get the major details of the story. In fact, Moses’ name is not even mentioned in Haggadah’s story telling.
The Haggadah begins to tell the story after the 4 questions as follows: “We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt and Gd took us out with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.” But, as my colleague Rabbi Mark Greenspan points out, “That’s like saying Tolstoy’s great classic is about ‘war’ and ‘peace.’” Of course, everyone knows that there were 10 plagues—if not from the Torah, at least from the movies: “The 10 Commandments” and “Little Prince Of Egypt.” But the Haggadah’s accounting of it being really 50 or 200 or 250 or 300 plagues can be a little confusing. By the end of the evening, it seems that it might have been easier for us just to read the 1st 15 chapters of Exodus if we wanted to convey the actual story.
Instead, the Haggadah always seems to get side-tracked. It starts off talking about Gd and Pharaoh but ends up talking about Laban—Jacob’s father-in-law, who, we are told, was worse than Pharaoh. We begin talking about Egypt and end up discussing our idolatrous ancestors who lived on the other side of the Jordan River. We sing songs and offer complex analyses of Torah verses but we quote verses from Song of Songs and Chronicles that appear to have nothing to do with the Exodus. We discuss the symbolism of the foods we’re about to eat but we don’t really put them in logical order. And then as the night comes to an end, we find ourselves singing songs about “Who Knows One” and “The dog that bit the cat that ate a goat.” What does that have to do with anything?
The answer is that the mitzvah of reading the Haggadah—which means, “The Telling”—is not so much to tell the chronological story of the Exodus with all its important details. The mitzvah is to tell the story of Gd’s love for us. And all the Haggadah’s diversions from the story that seem to be off topic are really to amplify the message of how much Gd loves us. And the telling of this great love story is needed today more than ever as more and more Jews have become distant from Gd and Jewish life. It’s amazing to me, for example, how many Jews today don’t even go to a Seder!
It’s true that most Jews don’t go around thinking—or better yet feeling—how much Gd loves them. That kind of Gd-loves-you-talk we hear more from Christians. But Christians don’t have a monopoly on Gd’s love. If anything, the Haggadah points out that it is the Jewish people that is a special focus of Gd’s love and that’s why—as the Haggadah states—Gd took us out, “not by an angel or a messenger or even a fiery angel, but Gd Himself in all His glory.” Why? Because we are so precious to Him.
The entire festival of Pesach—even in its preparations—are an expression of that special loving relationship between Gd and the Jewish people. This morning’s Torah (Ex. 12:42) reading calls the Seder night, leyl shimurim, the night of Gd’s loving protection; and the Seder—at the end—has a long list of examples of Gd’s loving protection on Passover during our long history indicating that this has always been a special night of Gd’s love.
It all begins for even before Pesach. The night before the Seder we search our homes for chametz. Chametz is dough that has soured and risen. It’s a metaphor for us—at this holy time—to rid ourselves of what’s sour and puffy in our lives. Shlomo Carlebach has a wonderful take on this (Pesach 1994 transcribed by Daniel Flieger):
I’ll tell you something very deep. Imagine I love someone very much and I always hurt her feelings. So I say, “Forgive me.” But it’s deeper, so deep. How come you hurt somebody’s feelings? Crazy right? And you know you shouldn’t and you still do it. But if you remember that chometz is leavened bread, it really means it’s blown up out of proportion. You know usually when people are angry with each other it’s always out of proportion. I’m angry with you for something very little then I’m blowing it up. So on Pesach just remember, we’re getting rid of the chometz—what’s blown out of proportion—so that we can eat matzah and get back to the truth.
But if Pesach is the festival of love, why do we work so hard for so long in preparing and making our homes Kosher l’Pesach? Why do we need to schlep different dishes and pots and pans to our kitchens for Pesach? I think all this physical work is part of the spiritual process of Pesach. Kabbalah will tell us that Gd’s love and light that He shines upon and in us on Pesach is so strong that we have no adequate vessels to contain it. It’s a love and compassion beyond anything we deserve. But all this physical work of cleaning and schlepping shows our love for Gd and that creates new vessels within us to contain Gd’s love and light that will come our way on Pesach—especially at the Seder—if we’re willing to receive it.
At the Seder we do strange things to provoke questions. We wash without a bracha; we eat reclining; we eat bitter herbs and matzah; we lift a cup of wine and don’t drink; we lift other foods and don’t eat. On and on it goes that we’re asking questions and searching for answers. The Seder is so designed that as we engage each question we come to appreciate another nuance of Gd’s love for us—represented in every symbol and symbolic act—and by doing so we bring a little more of Gd’s light into our homes and into the world.
We can essentially fulfill the mitzvah of telling the story with that 1st verse which tells us simply that we were slaves and Gd saved us. But, as the Haggadah teaches, V’chol hamarbeh l’sapeyr bitziyat Mitzrayim, harey zeh m’shubach, “The more one embellishes the story of the Exodus from Egypt, the more one is to be praised.” The more you tell, the more you engage with Gd, the more His light will shine into you. As Shlomo Carlebach would say, “Pesach is getting into yourself in a very deep way.”
The Haggadah has a special reading at the end, Vay’hi bachatzi halaila, “And it happened at midnight?” What’s so special about the exodus happening at midnight? Midnight is the most vulnerable time—when the night is the darkest—the time when the Jewish people were the most defenseless. Gd waited till midnight to show that it was entirely Gd’s love for us that gave us our freedom.
Let me explain with another Shlomo teaching (ibid):
Seder night is so unbelievable. I can reach the highest level at the Seder because Gd’s light is there. The question is how much will you take with you from this light? You know, we sit there, ask Ma Nistana, eat chicken soup and talk the whole time about the chicken soup and the kneidlach…You know most people ask how was the Seder—that means the food! Heart breaking right?
You see what it is—Seder night? What the world thinks is freedom is the most degrading thing in the world. Freedom is not that you can do what you want…Freedom is that you yourself became a vessel for the highest, for the most awesome…Imagine Einstein is free so he becomes a carpenter—heartbreaking. He missed out on his whole purpose for being. What would you say, “I was free to become a carpenter?” but don’t you understand you could become Einstein…
Anyway friends, I want to bless you and me we should have vessels for this amazing light. And you know every second of the Seder is…like the Ishbitzer Rebbe says: “When you come to a gold mine you don’t take a lunch break and go back and pick up some more gold.” You don’t want to miss a second, because every second you can put so much gold in your pocket. Gevalt! The Seder is the same thing. It’s all gold!
Most of us don’t have our act together; we have to get it straight. Seder mamesh means order. Seder night Gd gives order to our lives and puts everyone’s act together simple as it is. This is the greatest gift Gd could give us…to show the way what we have to do, and who we are.
If—unlike Shlomo—you have difficult time feeling Gd’s love at the Seder, just think of all the amazing miracles he performed for us—the 10 plagues, the exodus, the splitting of the Red Sea. And if you still have a difficult time relating to these miracles of 3300 years ago think about what is the greatest miracle in the world today. The greatest miracle is that you and I are at a Seder celebrating Gd’s love. By any stretch of the imagination, the Jewish people—like every single ancient people that were thrown off their land—should have disappeared from off the face of the earth 2,000 years ago. We’re here because Gd loves us!
And so my holy friends (as Shlomo would say) tonight at the final Seder, have fun and enjoy the people you’re with. But most of all, take in the love and light that Gd has in store for you. Amen!
Rabbi Mark Hillel Kunis
4/6/12
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